my dad went to high school with a guy they called the "frito bandito". he got high and tried to rob a frito lay truck... munchies suck.

i went to the beach one night and stopped at jack in the box at 5 a.m. for some coffee... the lady honestly asked "would you like a jack taco with that?".... ummmmm, NO. creme and sugar will be fine.

there is a time and a place for everything... for the first time ever, an original bum asked me for cash at the drive in atm. you cant say you dont have any, so you just pull off quickly...

my roommate, holly, used to get mad when she had to leave the house in the morning to go to class... she would tell her mom, "i wish i was my cat, so i didn't have to go to school."... doesnt that apply to everything? " i wish i was my cat.... enter your complaint here."

did you ever lock the bathroom door and play in the water with your pants off when you were little? .... holly did that too.

a bottle of wine crashed the other night, and my friend anna threw a bounty paper towel on it... needless to say, it didnt work. when i was mopping it up, and came across the napkin... all i could say to those in the room was, "remember my 80 year old grandma that never had her period?... well she is having them all... right now."

i think everyones id picture is always so horrible because if you think about it, no one looks good when they are found dead. they have to have an accurate photo.

well folks... these are the random thoughts floating in my mind right now. its almost 12 on a friday, and i am staying in. just couldnt think about much else, and wouldnt have a good time if i left the house. can you sense the sarcasm in my voice? lovely.